Kid’s Quotes
Date Unknown: Alex (after a kiss from mommy): Mommy, stop kissing me so much!! (Alex 1yr old)
Date Unknown: (Screaming as she is being hauled to the car from her grandmother’s house) I want to scrub!! (Alex 2yrs old)
Date Unknown: Mommy: So, Alex, do you think it’s going to be a sister or a brother? Alex: (looking at the Watermelon on the table) A brother—or a sister—or a melon. (Alex 2yrs old)
Date Unknown: Lemon bridges falling down, falling down. . . (Alex 3yrs old)
Date Unknown: Mommy: Eat your peaches. Alex: Mine chin Will eat it all up. (puts chin in bowl) Mommy: but your chin doesn’t have a mouth. Alex: It Does (opens mouth wide) Mommy: Your mouth isn’t on your chin, (pokes chin) it’s on your face. Alex: It goes in Mine throat. (points at neck) Mommy: Where does it go next? Alex: . . . (blank stare) Mommy: In your tummy? Alex: Yeah . . . then in my toes. (points at toes) Here too. (points at foot.) (Alex 3yrs old)
Date Unknown: Mommy:I can’t see my toes any more, and I can’t bend over to tie my shoes. Alex: You can bend like a frog mommy—like this. (squatting down) (Alex 3yrs old)
4/30/99: Oh Well–If I must I must. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/01/99: We’ll just have to run hurry blurry on the ceiling. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/02/99: There are six frogs—see, one, three, six. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/03/99: I don’t like sharp pokey shots, but nice ones I don’t mind. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/07/99: When I run fast, I kick my bottom, but I don’t cry. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/09/99: No, no thanks.–Not this year of the day. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/13/99: You want a greenhouse?! I want a yellow house. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/14/99: Grama, the plants are elling for water. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/15/99 Grandma: My thinker is stuck. Alex: No, your thinker is on forever. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/16/99: Jakie had an ear confection. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/17/99: (About the neighbors landscaping a pond.) Mom, look! That’s a good idea. So they can get a hippopotamus! (Alex 4yrs old)
5/18/99: Look mom! Noah’s Yark! (Alex 4yrs old)
5/19/99: Mom, can I go outside? I have lots of playing to do today. (Alex 4yrs old)
5/27/99: Daddy, you can use my bathroom—but don’t forget to put the girl seat back down. (Alex 4yrs old)
6/10/99: Alex: Turn that down! I don’t like loud songs! Mommy: Well, Sometimes I do. Alex: Well, today’s not a sometime day. (Alex 4yrs old)
7/23/99: If Jake was missing and couldn’t find himself, then we couldn’t find him either, right mom? (Alex 4 yrs old)
7/24/99: (After being caught streaking with a little boy) When he peed he made a water gun with his pee! (Alex 4yrs old)
Date Unknown: Alex (as I transcribe): My pumpamaginer is inside my body and it pumps up so that the clock can turn and point to the thing you want to think about, but when it points at the wrong number you say no, I don’t want to think about that. Then it points to something else and asks do you want to think about that? And if I say yes, then that’s what I think about. When it thinks I think. My pumpamaginer talk inside my body, but it doesn’t talk until I talk to it. When the clock points to the number then it tells you something—it tells you if you want to think about something. It thinks about your family, it thinks—whatever the pumpamaginer thinks about then you think about! It thinks about staplers, when you do naughty stuff, movies what I’m watching about all the time, and when I’m doing stuff on a computer, about glass what I’m looking at, about flowers on a bird nest and flowers that the birds think it’s a tree, a movie bomb when it flashes up, about pictures, regular old movies on TV, it thinks about homers on a homer desk, and about clocks, and about lights and doors. (Alex 4yrs old)
Date Unknown: Alex: Mommy you wear your sandals all the time, even when it’s cold outside. You need to get out of that. Here, here’s some socks. (Alex 4yrs old)
Date Unknown: Alex (after reading some poetry with me: Mommy, I want to make poem. Type for me (takes me to computer and sits me down) Alex: It’s called “Tree.” A Tree was in my back yard, with a yellow leaf that falls down. I went in my house. (Alex 4yrs old)
2/15/00: When I get really, really rich, then I’ll have to sell some of my money cause then I’ll have too much. (Alex 5yrs old)
2/16/00: Neighbor boy: One day in Sunday School, all of the kids in my class were being really noisy except for me. Me: Well, what did your teacher do? Did she yell at you? Neighbor boy: No, but she just about sent us all to . . . well . . . Me: Did she send you to the bishop? Neighbor boy: No. Up there! (Pointing up) Me: Oh? Neighbor boy: You know . . . (whispering with wide eyes) she almost sent us up there to Satan in the sky! (Chase 4yrs old)
2/18/00: Mommy: Ugh! I’m a rough and bumpy alligator! I need some lotion. Alex: Mommy! But you’re a rough and bumpy alligator with boobs! (Alex 5yrs old)
2/20/00: Mommy: (Making Alex stay on the bench in the chapel) Alex you will have to stay here until I get done directing the choir. I’ll be right there on the stand, and you will be able to see me the whole time. Alex (pouting): Well fine, I guess I’ll just have to whine even louder! (Alex 5yrs old)
2/21/00: Alex (after picking her nose): Grama, do you have a tissue? Grama: No, I don’t. Alex: Well, (sigh) I guess I’ll just have to eat them then. (Alex 5yrs old)
3/08/00: Mommy: Alex, I don’t think you’re really hungry, you didn’t eat your dinner. I think you’re just in a snacking mood. Alex: I am only a little hungry—for everything in the house! (Alex 5yrs old)
3/08/00: Mommy: Do you know what every parent wishes for? Alex: What? Mommy: An obedient child. Alex: Well, um . . . I guess Heavenly Father didn’t know, but he, like, um . . . built the wrong kind of child—one what is good sometimes, but is sometimes naughty. (Alex 5yrs old)
3/09/00: Mommy! Settle down! (Jake 2yrs old)
3/10/00: Mommy: Goodnight Baby. Jake: Not baby! It’s Big Jake! Mommy: ok, goodnight Big Jake. Are you my big boy now? Jake: No boy. It’s puppy. (pant, pant) Mommy, kiss? Mommy: ok, puppy. Jake: Ruff rooooooo (licks mommy’s face—ugh!) (Jake 2yrs old)
3/13/00: I have taught him so much puppy things that when he grows up he will act like a dog! (Alex 5 years old)
Date Unknown: Mom to Jake, who has been babbling into a handheld mirror: Jake, who are you talking to? Are you talking to yourself? Jake: No! I’m talking to him! (holds the mirror up so I can see) (Jake 2yrs old)
Date Unknown: Jake:Ow! Mom:What’s wrong? Jake:A bump got me! ( Jake 2yrs old)
Date Unknown: Jake (wailing): Mommy, please kiss my butt! Mommy: What?! Jake: I fell down and got an owie right here! (pointing to his behind) (Jake 2yrs old)
Date Unknown: Jake (as I am tickling his leg): No! I’m not made for tickling! I’m made for wuving! (he thinks for a minute) I’m made for kissing too. (Jake 2yrs old)
Easter 2000: Mom: Jake, eat your dinner. Jake: I can’t stuff my food in my mouth! Mom, (blink, blink) can I eat my (chocolate) bunny? (Jake 2yrs old)
Date Unknown: Jake: Please give me my car . . . (reverently) don’t break it—it’s beauful. (Jake 2yrs old)
Date unknown: (While preparing a talk for church) You have to be eight to be baptized—if you are younger than eight, you can sink. (Liza 7 years old)
Date unknown: Mom: What kind of dog would you like to have? Jake (casually): W’ fee’ fee’. Mom: Fi fi? Jake (with a little more emphasis): No! W’ fee’ fee’! Mom (confused): With Fi fi? Jake (now exasperated):No! I want a dog with legs! I want a brown dog with legs and four feet!! (Jake 3yrs old)
Date unknown: Jake: Crawly cat. Crawly cat means Mr. O’Malley in Spanish. (Jake 3yrs old)
Date unknown: Jake: Monte’s name is spelled S, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 8, 9. (Jake 3yrs old)
Date Unknown: Mom, my buckle crapped open! (Jake 4yrs old)
Date Unknown: Uncle Monte: Jake what do you want to be when you grow up? Jake: (matter of factually) I want to be someone who opens doors for ladies. (Jake 4yrs old)
10/14/2002: Alex: Mom, how many years until my next birthday? (Alex 7yrs old)
10/14/2002: Alex: Mom, where did you get married? Mom: In the temple. Alex (excitedly): Well, then that’s where I want to get married too! (a sudden look of horror crosses her face) wait a minute, I’m never getting married! (wistfully) if only boys weren’t so yucky! (Alex 7yrs old)
